Well, hello, stranger! I am sorry to have neglected you, oh blog of blogs, but I stupidly assumed you were only good for posting recipes. Now I see that I need you as much as you need me. I need to express my in-depth opinions to the world without anyone really knowing that I'm doing that. So, I'ma gonna try to talk it out. We can get through this, you and I. Here goes...
A few days ago I learned that a colleague may not return from maternity leave. This is all within the realm of possibility, of course, which is why maternity leave exists to begin with (i.e., to give women the room and motivation to come back, because they might realize they actually don't want to). As a coworker, I'm disappointed she might not return. But, as a mom, I can understand. I've been there. I've used my company's maternity leave 3 times and have been extremely grateful every single time.
The first time, I couldn't wait to get back to work, mostly because I had no clue what I was doing at home and felt in control at work. The other times I was older, wiser, and wanted to really appreciate the rare time with my babies. But, I really never considered not coming back to work. I like to work, I like my work, I like who I work with and for, and I make a good living. Also, I suck at being patient, which is pretty much the most important skill to have as a stay-at-home parent. So, going back to work is a no-brainer for me. I'd still have kids and take time off if I didn't have leave, but having it gives me the support I need to make me 3 times as loyal to my boss. I know women who still check email and come in throughout their leave. I know others who don't even check in. And, still others who take additional FMLA time to extend the leave. I've had to cover for absent moms and have had to come back after others have taken over for me. It really is a great lesson in teamwork and that what goes around comes around. It is also a fabulous reminder that nobody is indispensable. On all fronts, maternity leave is good for the employee, her colleagues, and the company.
BUT, women, while you are pregnant and before your maternity leave starts, if you know at that point with some degree of certainty that you are not actually going to come back to work after your leave (or that you will come back, but only part-time), then I think taking leave without informing your employer is tantamount to stealing. Yes. I'm a woman. Yes, I've taken leave. And, yes, of course, I know that there is no way you can predict how your life will change before you have kids, so what you plan may not turn out. I'm not talking about that situation. I'm talking about actually planning to not return, but taking leave anyway.
Doing this is far more common than you think. And, I've come to realize that the practice is offensive, stupid, disrespectful, and downright selfish. And criminal. In my humble opinion...
