What I Learned

Now that my Whole30 challenge is over (and the struggles resulting from reintroductions begun), I feel I need to commemorate the occasion.   I need to articulate what I have learned about myself, about eating, and about food itself.

1. New Foods. I learned that I love cauliflower, coconut milk, and ghee.  These will all stay.  I also will keep sweet potatoes around because, although they're not my favorite, they are good and a great filler when I need veggies in a rush.

2. Conscious Eating.  Being focused on what I am eating, and having a WHY to what I am eating, is a key to eating consciously.  I had heard that term before, and had thought that I knew what it meant and its importance.  But, this way of eating seemed to bring me deeper into that meaning.  In the past, "eating consciously" meant being aware of eating and what I was eating.  It was really a conversation I'd have with myself that involved the angel and devil on my shoulders arguing about whether I really want to eat X, which I am about to devour, and yes I know I am emotional but I am giving myself permission to eat X, and here we go about to eat X and feel like crap, both physically and psychologically. 

Now, however, consciousness is something much less childlike (and childish).  Now it means that what can equal X is limited to things that my body is not allergic to.  That's how I view my body's reaction to dairy and grains and sugar.  It is like an allergy.  Mangoes cause my face to swell up. The skins share some components with poison ivy, and years ago I developed a severe allergy.  So, while I love mangoes, I no longer ever eat mangoes (or even touch them) because I know they are bad for my body and even risky.  Grains make me very uncomfortable and bloated.  Dairy gives me a stomach ache. Sugar is an addiction.  Viewing them like this takes them out of the running for "X," which means my starting point is already much better for me.  I read labels carefully looking for these allergens, just like I make sure there are no mangoes in anything.  This is a huge change in perspective for me.  

3. Emotional Eating.  So, if I habitually ate sugar and snacks in an effort to cope with my emotions, what on earth did I do on Whole30 to cope?  Was I a mess?  Perhaps.  Did I come up with a different coping mechanism?  Maybe.  But, I think the more likely scenario is the "OMG" moment of this experience for me.  I was less emotional.  I did not have the need to eat because I was very rarely overwhelmed with emotion.  I did have a day here and there that were challenging.  And, I did eat nuts or olives or chew on parsley in those moments.  But, even those subsided relatively quickly.  The thing about addiction is that you can never get enough.  The addiction creates the greater need.  So, the sugar was causing me to be emotional so I would eat more sugar, and so on.  No therapy needed.  That must be what they mean when they say, "It STARTS with food."  Ohhh.  I get it. ;)

4. Domino('s) Effect.  After introducing sugar, dairy, and alcohol (and a few grains here and there), I have fallen down the post-Whole30 downward spiral faster than you can say "penne a la vodka."  I am trying to not be too upset with myself or the ground that has been lost.  After all, it is all really important information to gather.  And, based on my fear of the rules being gone, I guess some part of me knew this would happen.  The thing is that I am all or nothing.  Although balance is the answer to almost any problem I face, for whatever reason, I am incapable of eating the things I shouldn't in moderation.  I knew this was the case when I was pregnant (all three times), so there was no "oh, I'll have just one cup of coffee" going on.  I had ZERO coffee.  Why? Because I knew that one would lead to two.  And, I was unwilling to take the risk (because the risk was not to me...)

5. The Conclusion. So, in analyzing the journey of Whole30, the results thereof, and the direction I went thereafter, the conclusion is that if I stop being diligent about #2, above, then I will wind up doing #3, which will lead to #4.  It is that simple.  I can't make up for a morning latte with a lunchtime salad because there is a domino effect from the latte, which makes me "need" to eat something before lunchtime even comes around.  And, it makes the lunchtime salad unfulfilling, which will necessitate a mid-day snack, and so on, until eventually I order a pizza from Domino's (you know, "for the kids"), and the next thing you know I'm back where I started.  Or, perhaps a place that is worse.   I'm going to at a minimum return to a paleo diet M-F and see how that goes.

4. What's Next?  So, if it STARTS with food, then something else must come next.  I may be wrong, but I'm going to assume for me that is exercise, if for no other reason than it seems like a relatively good mistake to make!

Day 29-30: Downward Spiral

Today I traveled to Chicago for work.  I knew it would be tough to stick to the eating plan, but I did try.  I had eggs in the morning of day 29, followed by a lettuce-wrapped piece of grilled chicken just before boarding.  However, I was pretty hungry before getting into the cab, and we all stopped at Potbelly's for sandwiches.  Well, I loooove Potbelly's!  But, I was scared, so I ordered a meatball hero, no cheese, and did not eat the bread.  I knew there was likely a ton of off-plan ingredients, but I was proud that I was able to salvage the meal.  Dinner, however, was another story.

Not only did I have a glass of wine (or several), but the dinner was pre-ordered, so I could not choose.  And, it was not served until around the 3rd glass of wine.  At this point, I pretty much needed to eat anything in order to keep from passing out.  So, this would be a textbook example of how alcohol leads to making poor choices!  That was day 29...And it turned out to be an excellent day (at least compared to day 30).

Day 30 was also full of pre-ordered food, none of it appropriate (even sort of) for the plan.  Eggs had cheese and butter, bacon was regular bacon, potatoes were white.  They served sandwiches and burgers for lunch.  I tried to pick apart the turkey, not eat the bread or cheese, and just have the side salad, but I also feared I'd be starving before dinner, which was going to be late again.  

It was a total disaster. Plus, my illness turned to full-on fever/cough hell, so I was miserable in pretty much every respect.  

So, I have decided to do a Whole5, followed by the reintroductions.  However, based on how I was feeling, I can almost guarantee I should stay away from sugar and dairy.  I had an immediate stomach pain from the dairy and an immediate call back to my sugar addiction.  

Anyway, that is the plan. I failed the Whole30 challenge and did about 28 1/2 days. I would have easily completed it if I were in control of the food.  It is my own doing, but I am not going to dwell on it, particularly because I will do another 30-day challenge in a few months.

Day 28: Pecan-Encrusted Chicken

I am really excited to be on day 28!  However, I am also scared to death of day 30.  After that day, the rules will bend and so will I and I fear that I will fall down the slippery slope of sugar and dairy and grains (oh my).  Even though I am the one who decided to follow the rules, it is oddly comforting to have the strict rules in place. 


Breakfast: Eggs with asparagus, shallots, and prosciutto.  WOW.  This was amazing.

Lunch: nothing...starting to get sick :(

Dinner: Pecan-encrusted chicken, cauliflower mash with kale chips, and a sweet potato!

This was really easy.  Dip chicken in egg wash, then in chopped pecans.  Place in oven at 375 degrees until cooked through, flipping once.  The flavor of the pecans went well with the sweet potato, just like a pie!

Day 27: Kale Chips

For Mother's Day, I requested sleep.  And, by George (pun intended), I got just that!  The deal was I went to bed in MY bed and I didn't get up, even if all kids were screaming.  That seems a tad antithetical to the entire point of Mother's Day, unless you consider this perspective:

So, I had a pretty good night's sleep for the first time in over 7 months.  I kid you not.

Breakfast: More crab & lime quiche, with flowers, cards, pictures, hugs, kisses, and THIS:

I finally made the baked grapefruit with cinnamon suggested by my friend.  Holy MOTHER'S DAY!  That is amazing.  And, the aroma of the warm cinnamon....very yummy (except to my dad, but he isn't here, so that's what he gets for living so far away). :)

Lunch: Leftover prosciutto-wrapped chicken w/ cauliflower mash and a nectarine.  Also, a frozen banana.  Also???????  THIS!!!

What is this?  Raw kale chips.  Gross!  No. Not gross.  Freaking awesome.  Really?  Yes.  Why?  Because it is crunchy and chip-like and it tastes like it might even be bad for you, but it isn't!  And, it is arguably excellent for you.  That is correct.  I almost ran to the display of these in the store.  But, you can get them on amazon.  You're welcome very much. 


Dinner:  Burger w/ guac, cauli mash, & sweet potato.  

Happy Mother's Day!

Day 26: Crab & Lime Quiche

So, today I realized I hadn't yet eaten the very expensive crab I'd purchased.  So, there was a lot of crab to be had!

Breakfast: Excellent use of a Fat Flush recipe for Crab & Lime Quiche.  I did one big quiche instead of the mini ones, and used fresh lump crab instead of canned.

It was pretty good, and a great way to use up a bunch o' crab.

Lunch: Leftover chicken w/ artichokes

Dinner: Crab & guacamole over mixed greens!  This was close to awesome, but I should have used less crab.  Also, I should have taken a picture, cuz it looked pretty awesome. Oh well!

Day 25: Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy

Well, here we go...The final days!

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (officially sick of the quiche) over baby kales + coffee + grapefruit

Lunch: Leftover chicken w/ 40 cloves & roasted root veggies

Dinner: We have another household of sick people, so while others were eating leftover Chinese, I threw together the chicken and artichokes with sun-dried tomatoes. I also had leftover garlic cauliflower mash.

I also had some extra fruit today.  It has been really hard to limit my fruit intake to grapefruit and apples.  I am so used to a lot of fruit!  So, my special treat was a bowl of strawberries, blackberries, and grapes.  Any fan of The Wiggles knows what song to insert here.  

It was amazingly refreshing.  Oh, fruit. How I've missed you so!!



 

Day 24: Steak & Potatoes

Breakfast = quiche + grapefruit + coffee
Lunch = leftover Thai Chicken Curry
 
For dinner I was craving a steak.  So, even though it wasn't the organic, grass-fed variety, I had the Sam's Club filet mignon special.  Now, I know that is technically not on-plan.  But, I have to balance the financial needs of the family, and the need for my family to eat, against my decision to do this Whole30 thing.  So, I didn't have sugar or dairy or alcohol or a real potato.  I had steak, cauliflower mash, and a giant purple sweet potato with ghee.  I think this follows the spirit of the plan, if not the letter of the law.  And, I think that is what counts!  Plus, it was gooooood!

 And, a salad with avocado.

I have no idea what the deal is with the purple potato.  It tasted just like a regular sweet potato. And, it added nice color to the plate!  And, it was GIGANTIC!

This was an easy, quick, weeknight meal.  All I had to do was make the mash (which I could have done earlier but hadn't).  The sweet potato took 8 minutes in the microwave (because it was so big).  And, my husband grilled the steaks! 

Day 23: Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic

Today I felt a little better, although still not a full night's sleep by any means.  I wasn't as rushed in the morning, so I actually enjoyed my breakfast of quiche and grapefruit.  I had coconut milk in my coffee at work, which is always yummy.  And, I had leftover Thai Chicken Curry for lunch. 
 
Dinner: I did the slow cooker Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic again. Why?  Well, I bought the giant bag pre-peeled garlic again. Plus, this recipe is so good.  If you haven't tried it, you should.  If you're not trying it because you're lazy, that's stupid, because this recipe was made for hungry lazy people.  So, just do it.

I've put my version of the recipe (adapted from various online versions), below. Last time I had it with a side of Brussels sprouts.  This time I had it with roasted root veggies.  I had extra parsnips and carrots after steaming some for the baby! Score. 

Whole30 Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic

40 garlic cloves, peeled (I buy a giant bag of pre-peeled garlic from Sam's and use more like 50-60 to cover the bottom. I then make sure to make roasted garlic, pesto, and other things with the garlic that week.)
4-6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts or 1 whole chicken
1 large onion, sliced
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/2 cup chicken broth
3 TB lemon juice
2 TB lemon zest
2 TB minced fresh parsley
2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
Dash crushed red pepper flakes

Line the bottom of the slow cooker with garlic and then onions.  Add the chicken and sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Combine the remaining ingredients & pour over chicken. Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours.
Here's the prep pic:

 

Roasted Veggies

1 c baby carrots

2 parsnips, chopped into large chunks

5-6 radishes, quartered

5-6 Brussels sprouts, quartered

2 TB ghee, melted

1/2 c broth 

salt & pepper

 

Combine veggies in a baking dish.  Combine ghee and broth and pour over veggies. Sprinkle with s & p.  Put in 400-degree oven for 45 minutes.  No. It couldn't be easier.  Why did you ask?

I also had a salad with mixed greens (the box of pre-washed greens is called "Zen"), and tomatoes, orange bell peppers, and avocado. Yum. Yum. and Yum.

 

 

Day 22: Chinese Takeout

Today was rough because I was up all night with two sick kids.  The lack of sleep is really killing me.  I cannot imagine what my success on this program would look like if I could just get that sleep!  Anyway, the only exciting thing today was that my son requested Chinese takeout for dinner.  I had to think quickly, but I think I did ok.  What other options could I have gone with??

Breakfast: quiche/grapefruit/coffee
Lunch: Leftover chicken w/ artichokes (plus, I added some olives, which was an awesome addition!)
Dinner: I ordered steamed chicken w/ vegetables with the dressing on the side.  This is a white sauce (i.e., no soy), but because I had no idea what was in the sauce, I opted to just salt & pepper the chicken and eat the veggies plain.  It got me through, but I was really missing my typical takeout fix. :(  I would love to find something on the menu that I will love post W30. 

Day 21: Shock and Awe

Dear Diary,
Twenty-one days ago, I started the Whole30 challenge.  Two days ago, I felt like I wanted to end it, not because it doesn't feel good, but because it just is seeming to take forever.  Today, I am absolutely redoubling my commitment to get through these last 10 days.  Because this afternoon I went clothing shopping.

Now, there have been plenty of times I've gone shopping and been depressed into starving myself only to binge the next day.  This is not what happened today.  Today, in the hopes of finding something to make myself look presentable at a company meeting next week, I MISTAKENLY chose a size smaller than I intended to.  It fit and I liked the way it looked, so I thought, "Well, HALLELUJAH!  Something that doesn't make me still look pregnant.  Let's look at the size so I can buy it in every damn color and call this shopping done!"  That is the only reason I looked at the size again, and I literally stared at myself in the mirror in utter shock.  

I had just said the other day that I don't think I've lost weight, not more than bloat, but that's ok, because I do feel a little better.  Well, I tried the next size down, just to see if that was even on the horizon.  I'm not there yet, but I am VERY close, and certainly so much closer than I thought possible!  So, there I was in the Ann Taylor dressing room completely in tears, certain that there is a sizing conspiracy to help motivate me through day 30.  Well done, conspirators.  It worked.


Breakfast: Quiche + grapefruit + coffee w/ coconut milk
Lunch: Leftover chicken w/ artichokes & sun-dried tomatoes (with a giant helping of "OMG I lost weight" on the side)

Dinner: Slow Cooker Thai Chicken Curry again (minus peanuts & potatoes, plus extra bell peppers)

Day 20: Chicken with Artichokes & Sun-dried Tomatoes

I think this way of eating should be called "Coconuts and Cauliflower: Who Knew?"  I swear I don't know how I lived without either.  Cauliflower is like a super vegetable, able to be roasted, mashed, fried, and leap tall buildings in a single bound.  And coconut milk must have cocaine in it, because it is so addictive that it is almost good enough to make me  patient and kind.  Almost.  I am still me, after all.  

What do I have to be angry about?  MY FREAKING BROKEN FOOT!!!!  That's right.  I'm going to go all-out crazy because I am so angry that my foot isn't healed.  Now, the foot doctor thinks my healing abilities are amazing.  But, I am so sick of waiting to be able to use it.  I'm done being patient with myself, and waiting for my body to do its thing, and blah, f*ing BLAH!!!  I want to be able to walk.  Waaaaah.  (So, it turns out my 2-year-old is NOT the only one who can have a proper tantrum.)

Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to the daily chow...

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs w/ spinach
Lunch: The last of the BOB and some cauliflower rice

Dinner:
I wanted to incorporate some artichokes into my meals, so I combined a can of those with chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, and leeks.  It was really good!  

I also had a side of roasted purple cauliflower (which was really this recipe, but instead of having to babysit the frying pan, I reduced the oil and roasted in the oven).

Chicken with Artichokes & Sun-dried Tomatoes
1 lb chicken, cut into strips
1 can artichoke hearts
1/4 c sun-dried tomatoes (packed in ONLY olive oil)
1/2 c leeks, chopped
broth for deglazing
salt & pepper


Sear chicken in some of the oil from the sun-dried tomatoes.  Set aside.  Saute remaining ingredients in same pan, deglazing w/ broth.  Put all together in oven until chicken cooked through.  [I reaaallllly wanted to put Parmesan cheese on this, but didn't.  I think it would also go well over pasta, but we're not even going to think about that.  Anymore.]

If you have any recipes with artichokes, please let me know! Thanks.

Day 19

Today I hit a point I think was mentioned in the book.  I feel like, "ok, I get it" and am tempted to stop because, well, there's only 10 more days left.  I know I haven't lost weight, just bloat.  Not being able to exercise yet is part of that.  I want this to end because I want to transition into a Fat Flush habit (maybe 2 weeks) before settling with what will be my new norm.  I'm sick of all the protein!  I know that's necessary to get through this not hungry, but it feels like too much in my body.  I feel terrible for my kidneys!  And, the liver isn't far behind once I can drink again.   So, today was blah.  I didn't cheat or even get tempted by the pizza everyone else ate.  I actually saw it as a cardboard box filled with stuff that will make me sick.  So, that's good!  

Breakfast: scrambled eggs w/ asparagus
Lunch: BOB
Dinner: Roasted spaghetti squash, leftover grilled chicken, and a baked sweet potato w/ ghee

Day 18: Momma's Grilled Chicken

It is so hard to believe I am at day 18.  It really has become no big deal to cook this way.  I have had my moments of temptation, and to get beyond that I do have to consciously remind myself that "it is only 30 days."  But, as I learned from Ekhardt Tolle a long time ago, "without temptation there is no power in choice."  Thus, I welcome temptation.  Bring. It. On. 

While I don't think I will eat exactly this way after Whole30 (I need less meat and more fruit), I do think I will basically continue to abstain from sugar and dairy and processed foods, and eat just 3 meals per day.  I also imagine I will do Whole30 again in a few months, just to re-stabilize, if necessary.  It is nice to know there is a relatively easy way to do that.  And, it is great to know that I NEED to do that!

The friend who inspired me to try this (Rose), lost a ton of weight off her already thin body and feels great (which continues to be a great motivator for me).  On Facebook, I see people keep asking her about what "diet" she is on, and wanting to immediately know what they have to give up, or what life will be like after the 30 days.  If it isn't a quick-fix pill, they aren't interested.  I can see them trying to find the reason they can't or shouldn't do it.  It is so obvious to me that their addictions are talking.  It is so clear because that could have been me.  It might have been me.  But it is no longer me.  All they have to do is read a (very short) book and make a 30-day commitment.  One of the things in the book that kicked me in the pants was when they said something like, "Don't pretend this is hard.  Fighting cancer is hard.  Losing a loved one is hard.  Going without milk in your coffee is not hard."  Now, I love my coffee black anyway, but the point went right to my core.  It sounded like me talking to my child.  It made me realize I was being child-like in my "I don't wanna" attitude.  It made me want to be an adult about it and I'm glad for that!

Anyway, here's the scoop on Day 18.

Breakfast = quiche, grapefruit, coffee

Lunch = BOB

Dinner
Yesterday I marinated chicken just like my mom always did for years. It is an adaptation of souvlaki, I think, and pretty versatile. Everyone loves this, and because I didn't have to make any changes whatsoever, you should feel free to serve this to all guests!

Momma's Grilled Chicken
1 lb chicken, cut into skewer-sized chunks (any other meat is good, too)
1 onion, grated (not chopped...this is the key ingredient)
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 c olive oil
1 TB red wine vinegar
salt & pepper
1 tsp of each of these: basil, thyme, oregano (or really any other spices you want)


Marinate chicken in the rest of the ingredients for at least a few hours. I did mine overnight. See?

Then place on skewers when you're ready to grill, and grill until done, flipping a few times to make sure they're evenly cooking.

I served mine over leftover and reheated roasted spaghetti squash and a baked sweet potato. Yum!

Day 17: BOB (Bowl o' Beef)

Breakfast = You guessed it! Quiche + grapefruit + coffee

Lunch
Yesterday I had some extra ground beef and no leftovers ready for lunch.  So, I decided to make a sort of skillet chili-ish thing, which I then ate today. 

It was pretty good, if I do say so myself!  Here's the recipe, in case you wanna try it.

Skillet Chili (aka "BOB")

1 TB olive oil
1/2 onion
1 lb ground beef
1 jalapeno (most of the seeds removed)
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 can hot, chopped green chilis
chili powder
1 can diced no-salt tomatoes
salt & pepper
bunch of baby kale

Saute onion in olive oil over medium high heat.  Add ground beef when onions somewhat soft.  Saute until no pink left.  While the beef is cooking, chop the jalapeno (note: I always wear gloves when working w/ hot peppers because I once burned my eye even after washing my hands!) and pepper.  Add the jalapeno, pepper, chilis, chili powder, and saute about a minute to incorporate the flavors.  Add the tomatoes, salt & pepper, and cook until it reduces a bit.  Taste and season if necessary.  Add kale during the last 5 minutes just to get it to wilt. 

Dinner
For dinner I had meat sauce over roasted spaghetti squash.  I did find myself eyeing my husband's pasta.  But, again, it did the job.

Day 16

Breakfast = quiche + coffee + half grapefruit

Lunch
I admit I have a rare situation that allows me time to make up for any prep work I haven't done in the morning.  So, this system probably doesn't apply to most.  Today I ran home to eat lunch and to prepare for dinner.  And, to clean up the tornado-looking mess in my kitchen that I left when leaving hastily in the morning.  For lunch, I ate a couple of hard-boiled eggs while I was making guac (avocado, onion, tomatoes, celery salt, s&p, lime, and tobasco), and ate that with peppers, celery, and leftover grilled chicken.

For dinner, I prepared the salads and hamburgers patties, and roasted spaghetti squash.  However, I ate my hamburger with more guac (have some avocados that are in need of eating) and with the rest of the cauliflower mash.  The spaghetti squash will be for another day...