The Gold Standard

As a child, every year before school started I became very nervous.  Would my friends be in my class?  Would the teacher like me?  Would I be able to succeed?  I freaked out.  Not a little.  It really overtook my mind.  Ads for back-to-school savings made me nauseated. Look, I had issues with change (yes, I still do).  

And, every year like clockwork, my mom would notice this taking place and sing:

"Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver
And the other gold."

And, like clockwork, I got mad at her.  She didn't understand. WHAT IF MY FRIENDS WERE NOT IN THE CLASS??!!!!  Make new friends?  Are you kidding me?  That's the advice?  Like it is easy to find someone to be your friend for the rest of your lives?  Why even BOTHER with silver if you have gold?? It doesn't even makes sense!  At some point if I keep all of the friends I will have a gazillion friends.  It's basic math.

But, every year I somehow got through, despite my apparent need to find a lifelong relationship with every friendship.  And now, decades later, I still keep in touch with two friends I met in kindergarten. Sure, I made other friends over the years; some who were VERY close friends for a period of my life, and others were acquaintances.  And, yes, I have reconnected with more now that Facebook is a thing.  But, those two friends aren't even on Facebook.  We barely have seen each other over the years.  But, when we do talk, we reconnect right where we left off.  We are not only connected and long-time friends. We each KNOW the other would do anything for us if needed.  It's a very deep bond.  It cannot be broken by distance or time, because neither was what connected us to begin with.  There is something very comforting about knowing I have my tribe out there somewhere on my side.  Just in case.  It's like a safety net I am not typically conscious of, making navigating life more possible and palatable.

So, the other day, my son (5) was a little down because so-and-so didn't want to play with him.  And, my immediate reaction (no, I am not kidding) was, "That's great!"  Now, he assumed that I had misunderstood what he said and so explained it again to me.  But, really I understood. I understood that while it hurt a little for this jerk precious child to reject my son in that moment, at least he knows who this kid is.  It is not going to take years or months or even days to figure out where this kid will fit into my son's life.  Finding the GOLD is rare and sifting through all the rocks and silver takes a LOT of energy. Sometimes you think you have struck gold and find out many many years later that you were mistaken all along. When that happens you feel confused, betrayed by your own instincts, and as if you have wasted so much time.  But, when people present themselves as jerks right off the bat, it's like a blessing that is NOT AT ALL in disguise!  It's a big ol' red flag from the Universe with a sign on it that says, "THIS PERSON IS NOT GOLD FOR YOU. MOVE ON."  What a gift, right?  

No?  Yeah, I get that a lot.  Very few people see it this way.  I really always have.  I used to call it, "I have enough friends."  But, really I am lucky, because I DO have gold and lots of it.  Much to my adult surprise, most people actually don't have gold in their lives.  Many don't even have silver.  I can't imagine what it would be like to go through life without gold in my pockets.  I guess in this way, I am really greatful to be part of that 1%! :)

P.S. Even my Ralph knows what's up: "Stay gold, Ponyboy."  (You didn't expect me to forget The Outsiders, did you?  I bet my GOLD friends would know better...)

 

Slow Cooker Thai Chicken

So, this recipe is one of those that I love because it is a totally different flavor and is so very easy! 

The link is here:

Slow Cooker Thai Coconut Curry Chicken 

But, just so you have ideas on what you can change, my modifications are here:

Ingredients

	13 1/2 fl oz light coconut milk  [After Whole 30, I NEVER get light coconut milk, just regular!]
	7 tsp Thai curry paste, red variety, divided (or to taste)
	1 1/2 tsp table salt, (or to taste)
	1/2 head(s) (large) uncooked cauliflower, cut into small florets [I buy the bag of already-cut cauliflower from Sam's to make this fast, easy, and cleaner.]
	1 pound uncooked potatoes, peeled, cut into small chunks   [During Whole 30 I skipped this step.  I actually prefer this dish with rice if I want a starch; the sauce is amazing. One of my kids will eat several helpings of just the rice with the sauce!]
	1 medium sweet red pepper, cut into chunks
	2 medium uncooked carrots, cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices   [I skipped this because I didn't have carrots and it was just as good, if not as colorful.]
	1 1/2 pounds uncooked boneless skinless chicken breasts, six 4 oz pieces  [The other night I used what I had, which was just 2 breasts, and it turned out great. Obviously, it is heavier on the cauliflower, but that's fine with me!]
	2 Tbsp reduced-fat peanut butter
	1/3 cup cilantro, fresh, chopped [I hate cilantro so I never use it!]
	3 medium uncooked scallions, sliced
	1 medium fresh lime, cut into 6 wedges [I rarely include this because I forget. ;)]
	2 Tbsp peanuts, salted, chopped   [I have this on the side.]

Instructions

• In a 4- to 6-quart slow cooker, whisk together coconut milk, 4 teaspoons curry paste and salt until blended. Add cauliflower, potatoes, pepper and carrots; toss to mix and coat.
• Rub 2 teaspoons curry paste all over chicken [Next time I will make sure there is one breast without the paste so that it isn't too spicy for my youngest!]; place chicken on top of vegetable mixture. Cover slow cooker and cook on LOW setting until chicken is cooked through and vegetables are tender, about 5 to 6 hours.
• Remove chicken to a cutting board and cut into bite-size pieces (or shred using two forks); set aside.
• Stir peanut butter and remaining 1 teaspoon curry paste into slow cooker until blended. [I actually create a sort of add-on sauce on the side instead of adding it to the cooker.  I take some of the sauce from the cooker and add to peanut butter with a little lime juice.] Add chicken back to slow cooker with cilantro and scallions; gently stir to coat. Spoon onto plates or into bowls and serve with lime wedges; sprinkle each serving with 1 teaspoon peanuts. Yields about 1 1/2 cups per serving.

 

Jump the Waves

My Rules.
I have some rules.

1. Jump the waves
2. Keep the gold
3. I am the star
4. Great friends have reasonable minds
5. Down with externals
6. All things being equal, choose good/happy
7. Others are mirrors
8. Reputations are first
9. Search for YES 
10. Your superpower is your kryptonite

These are not the only rules that guide me.  But, these are the ones that I keep coming back to. Through childhood, young adulthood, years of schooling, years of working, years of loving, parenthood, years of being.  They have been helpful to me and perhaps will be helpful to you, if only to inspire you to reject them in favor of your own!  I'm going to do a post for each of these and perhaps some others.  Stay tuned!

Jump the Waves

Growing up in a suburb north of NYC, our family spent two weeks each summer on Long Beach Island, NJ (LBI).  Two. Whole. Weeks!  Thinking about what it would take at this point in my life to arrange for two, consecutive weeks off of work makes me have a small panic attack.  Back then, two weeks away meant two WEEKS away.  No cell phones to connect to work.  No computers to check email. No email to check!  Everything moved more slowly, but it moved.  

So, when my father (a workaholic in all the best ways) took TWO WEEKS off of work?  Yeah. That was a BIG freaking deal.  Now, that doesn't mean I don't recall walks to the local police station phone booth for him to check in with his secretary periodically.  Or even a couple of times when he drove all the way back home to deal with an important case.  But, that was the exception to the rule.  And, the rule was TWO WEEKS.  I think this must be the reason my brother and I consider this time of our (otherwise pretty darn perfect) childhoods the best and most perfect.  Our "happy" place is LBI.  LBI meant our dad was present. All day. Having fun.  Bicycling with us, playing mini golf with us, taking us down the water slides of Thundering Surf, eating elephant ears and ice cream and Belgian waffles, and playing tennis and taking us into the ocean.  

I'm not sure what that was like for my brother, but for me the ocean was my Oz. It was scary and expansive, but beautiful and welcoming and full of promise and hope and bliss.  The water of the ocean was not the water of the Caribbean.  It was not a lake.  It also was not the Colorado rapids.  The water was calm at the horizon and crashed on the beach.  The goal was to get beyond the dangerous and unpredictable tow of the crashing waves to reach the calm flow of the deeper water (which was also dangerous, but I didn't see that as a kid, so stay with me here).  

As an adult, I see all of the dangers, but also remember how fun it was to play with the ocean; to run up to the water as it pulled back into itself and then run away as it tried to catch me, and then to run back even deeper the next time, dig for sand crabs, and expertly avoid seaweed and jellyfish.  But, when I was young, I was too short to even consider going beyond that initial dance.  And too afraid. And, not allowed.  So, my father would take me into the ocean and lift me up when a wave would come.  The wave would crash him straight in his face all while his arms were straight above him holding me safely above the fray.

When I got older, though, I became a stronger swimmer and a taller/heavier player in this game.  My father then taught me how to determine which impending waves to dive into, which were safe to jump up and over, and which were fun to ride into the beach. He taught me to keep an eye on the house on the beach and always make sure I was dead center in front of the life guard. But, he never told me to be afraid. In essence, he taught me what he knew about how to handle myself in the water. He didn't lift me up anymore.  He didn't keep me from entering the water.  He didn't (seem to) get worried that I would not be okay.  He just taught me what I needed to know and let me figure the rest out for myself.

So, rule #1 is actually two-fold.  It used to be to learn how to jump the waves of life rather than fear them.  But, now that I am a parent, it is a reminder to teach my kids what they need to know to tackle the ocean of life and then let them figure the rest out for themselves.  Oy.  That's harder than it seems! But, that's rule 1. The rest is easy sailing from here...

Veggie "Couscous" and Chicken Thighs

Hello.  I received a request from my mother to continue with these posts. So, here we go!

The other day, I made a version of Marinated Chicken Thighs for my son who loves the crispiness of the chicken skin!  I am slowly trying chicken thighs because all of my favorite bloggers say they are so much better and juicier than breasts.  And, I know from Whole 30 how important that fat really is.  These can be marinated way ahead and just baked while making a salad or whatever you are making.

The recipe would be great with any vegetable or starch, but I am going to share with you the most amazing veggie recipe that I created in case you want to try it.  It is so great I almost don't want to jinx it by typing it out!  Every single member of the family loves it.
EVERY.
SINGLE.
ONE.

That is unheard of, people! That is worthy of a freaking trophy. That is a miracle!   
And, sadly, I know that this is also definitely going to change once they get sick of it. :) But, here it is. Let me know if you like it. (Even my mother will like this even though she claims to HATE Brussels sprouts!)

Veggie Couscous  

1 head of cauliflower
1 bag of Brussels sprouts
1 leek
1 TBSP olive oil (or coconut oil)
1 pat+ of butter (or ghee)
1 cup+ chicken broth (or half broth and half wine)
3 cloves of garlic, crushed
salt & pepper

Place cauliflower florets, trimmed Brussels sprouts, and cleaned & sliced leeks in food processor.  Pulse to create a sort of "rice" texture. Saute over medium heat in oil and butter, and add chicken broth (or other liquid, such as wine) to continue the saute without burning.  Add garlic and continue until soft and liquid is reduced.  Add salt & pepper to taste. [NOTE: I have tried it without the pat of butter and the kids do not like it as much, so I think it is worth that step!]

You're done!  This mixture is great as a bed to any protein (like the thighs above) and is more attractive than just cauliflower alone.  It's also so easy for the little ones to eat with a spoon!  You can probably add any vegetable. I make this over the weekend and reheat it throughout the week for a side veggie or carb substitute during the week.